Sleep Paralysis?

It saddens me that I’ve experienced this, especially on my lowest day. Maybe that’s why it was so fitting to deal with this when my guard was down and my hurting and stressing was exposed. This is worse than many things I’ve endured in life. It truly is. It’s heart wrenching and soul shaking.  Traumatic. … More Sleep Paralysis?

Trust the journey

  Although I really wanted to add ‘bitch’ to this blog post’s title, I resisted all urges. It’d be too in your face and loud so I toned it down a tad. Either way, Trust the process bitch! I get it, honest I do. Sometimes it feels like damn, what am I doing? What am I … More Trust the journey

Mayo seis

Yesterday was a very horrible day. So so horrible and I still haven’t fully recovered but I’m trying and that my friend is the most important thing. At this point I feel as though I have not much to live for and as though I’m simply a failure taking up space on earth. I feel … More Mayo seis

Excerpts from 2016

21st August 2016 “Dear Journal, Your girl again, Diandra, unsure of where to begin. Always unsure. I’ve concluded that I’m unhappy in so many ways. I shouldn’t be waking up to such beautiful skies and fluffy clouds with suicide on my mind. Why is it that no matter what I do, I can’t seem to … More Excerpts from 2016


I love you I miss you I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world when I’m with you, You make me feel secure and appreciated. I hope you see my efforts I hope you feel my love I hope you see that I’m here for the long haul Love so true Love … More 💖


What good is a home if it is unhappy? What good does it do you to break me?   So many tears and thoughts of worthlessness It pains me, it aches me It breaks me.   But I remain strong.   So many “Why me?”s So many “What have I done to deserve this?” So … More :/


In a sea full of people my eyes will always search for you, You’re the first thing I wish to see when I awaken to this troubling world, You’re the last thing I want to touch before I nod off to sleep and dream of you.   Dream of you Close to me Holding me […]

More Love?

2 of 2

I wonder sometimes what will become of us. Is this love Is it lust. Am I right for giving someone all of my trust and all of me once again? Maybe it doesn’t matter to you But for me, This resonates deep beyond my flesh and bones Deep beyond the surface of my soul. I … More 2 of 2


Trying to let go I try to let go of memories. The past keeps hurting me and I allow it.   I allow the past to shape my mind Guard my heart and cement bricks around the depths of my soul.   But I want you to come in This fortress has been built so … More Untitled